I have no pretty list of resolutions for 2019.
The first day of this year saw me trying to avoid catching pneumonia, of all things (here’s a hint, maybe don’t insist on going to watch New Year’s Eve fireworks when it’s raining cats and dogs?) I ended up catching my first cold in almost two years instead, losing my voice, and throwing away BOTH shampoo and deep conditioner at the airport to avoid paying for extra luggage (machozi tu!) over the next two days, and after that it was clear that this year just wasn’t going to let me plan it, so I just gave up.
So here I am, writing this, popping Halls throat lozenges into my mouth every so often because Google said they help, chilling for the year to bring what it will. I’ve realized that part of the reason I don’t want 2019 to be a blank new slate is because it felt to me like letting go of the lessons of 2018, and I felt that there needed to be some enduring good that came out of the stress, the burnout, and the consistent worrying. And just for that, here’s two brilliant articles on millennial burnout that you should read, if you haven’t already.
Wambui Kogi, who’s practically my distant cousin at this point (which means that you ALL have to check out her blog) put it best: “This is because we all formed certain habits, started projects and gained wisdom that we simply can’t leave behind in 2018. This is the year of consistency…” We simply can’t leave the lessons behind, but we can improve upon them and continue growing and evolving into our best selves in 2019. And if nothing else, that’s what I hope for all of us this year.
And then lastly, here’s the life update: this semester, I’m studying abroad in France. I’ve been here for just about a week, and I’m still thick in the mess that is settling in, and I still find it unbelievably crazy that I get to do this, but here we are, doing the damn thing, you know? I want to travel and write about it, I want to plan and go for my first solo trip at some point, I want to be an adventurous foodie because I lazily default to chicken almost every time I eat out, I want to learn tidbits of languages that I have never spoken, I want to do everything. I want so many things from this semester, but even if I don’t get to do all of them, I will have learnt what it is like to dream of things I never imagined myself doing in my lifetime, let alone in my twenties, and that in itself is a gift. In total writer fashion, I’m also going to try write about my experience here a bit (and maybe take some non-blurry photos or explore a new art form, who knows?), so here’s to a year with much much less writer’s block 🎉